by Jay "THE FLEA" Wade
A few years ago if someone told me Nintendo would produce a game with adult content I would have said “Yeah right! What have you been smoking lately?” But it’s true, his name is Conker.
I first saw Conker at E3 in 1996 as a loveable Squirrel in a basic run of the mill platform game.
Has he ever changed, somewhere along the way Nintendo/Rare decided to do something different with Conker. They made him a smartalecky squirrel in a potty mouthed adult world.
The story is as follows; Conker gets drunk at a bar and stumbles off into the night. When he wakes up he has a horrible hangover and doesn’t know where he is. He completes weird tasks to get help from strange creatures to find his way home. Also making some cash along the way. There’s also an evil king who breaks a table and thinks Conker can replace the table leg. (A little warped sense of humor)
The levels and bosses in Conker’s BFD are nothing ever seen before in a video game.
I’ll try and describe a few of these as best as I can without offending anyone.
There’s a land of dung, and you have to defeat a huge singing Poo Ball by throwing toilet paper down his throat. Then he’ll be wiped out. (Sorry I just had to say that)
In another level you must get cows to drink prune juice and make them fill a tank of diarrhea, then swim in it to get to the next area. Then there’s the Rockman dance club where you have to get drunk and pee on a dancer to get him to move. This is just a small example of the levels in this crazy game.
Conker also has the most swear words ever heard in a video game. Some of the harsher words are bleeped out, but you’ll get the idea what they are saying. All of it is real voice acted.
Conker’s has to be one of the funniest games I’ve seen in a long time. Most time your ether laughing your self silly, or thinking “Oh my word! Now that’s just wrong!”
But this is what makes Conker a great game, You have to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. You can’t stop playing because you just want to see what they come up with next.
The graphics are top for the N64. The animations are well done, and the whole world looks like it could be from a Disney animator’s nightmare.
The control and gameplay are well done with no problems getting your squirrel around. You rarely get lost in the camera angles and the bosses and puzzles can really be challenging at times.
There’s also a multi player modes that have all sorts of combat games. They play similarly to Goldeneye, Perfect Dark and Quake 3 Arena.
The only complaint I can give to Conker’s BFD is it doesn’t save the lives you earned if you quit and return to the game later. It’s extremely easy to earn lives and maybe this is why it doesn’t save them.
But it’s a bit of a pain to go and find more live tails every time you return to your game.
Overall Conker is one of Nintendo’s best, and will go down in history as a cult classic.
If you’re not insulted by bathroom humor, bodily functions, foul language, violence, blood, alcohol use, and sexual themes then Conker’s BFD is a must own.
If you are offended by these . . . Then maybe Banjo-Tooie is more your style.
PUBLISHER: NINTENDO / RARE
ESRB RATING: M
PLAYERS: 1-4
GRAPHICS: 10 MUSIC & SOUND: 9 CONTROL: 9
SECRETS: 10 ORIGINALITY: 10 FUN & REPLAY: 10
OVERALL: 9.5
